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The extra guests cost would be 1 month's salary for her. Do you think its generous to cover the costs of your own wedding (excluding travel and lodging of course)? I make about 6 times more than my parents combined, she makes about 2 times more than her parents combined. I'm very happy that he has recovered and do want them to have the wedding they dreamed of because they do deserve it. That's my question. The creator of the site explained: We always say to couples that they should try and not put too much pressure on themselves from both a financial and an emotional perspective. Everyone wins! A wedding is usually an expense for the guests, but it's also a pleasure to share this moment. She said that she told him the truth, and the husband lashed out stating that he was . Its uncommon to go halfway down the road of planning a certain type of wedding and then going in the opposite direction.. They now own 3 homes as they just purchased a second rental property. I did not argue with my sister because my best friend wasn't invitedI just wasn't sure how else to title this without it being too wordy. What should couples do when they get overwhelmed with the whole planning process? NTA. It doesn't appear in any feeds, and anyone with a direct link to it will see a message like this one. ._12xlue8dQ1odPw1J81FIGQ{display:inline-block;vertical-align:middle} This is a huge red flag and your fiance is not making a good decision here.~Top-Ad-2676, This is spot on. Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post. most of the time the parents foot the bill for the whole wedding. "Also likely spread many rumors. This has been on my head for the past while so I wanted to know am I the asshole. "AITA for uninviting my family from my wedding because they want me to share it with my sister?" The OP is currently trying to plan her wedding around the pandemic. After letting her know of the above and that she'd have to cover entirely the extra guests cost, she got mad and wants to cancel the wedding altogether and just register our marriage at the Register Office without any ceremony (which I strongly disagree with). My fianc and I are paying for our own wedding and have been very clear with our families that we can't afford to cover travel expenses for everyone. Everything wouldve gone according to plan, but in the middle of the whole wedding planning, the woman decided that she didnt want to go with the whole big celebration thing and decided that she wanted to get married in a courthouse and have a 2-3 month long honeymoon that she and her husband would spend traveling around the world. I have attended numerous wedding, sometimes far away, I always paid for it. A mom asked the AITA community on Reddit for their opinion, on whether or not she did the right thing by taking her daughter and leaving a wedding they were attending because her stepbrother pulled off her wig in front of everyone. @keyframes _1tIZttmhLdrIGrB-6VvZcT{0%{opacity:0}to{opacity:1}}._3uK2I0hi3JFTKnMUFHD2Pd,.HQ2VJViRjokXpRbJzPvvc{--infoTextTooltip-overflow-left:0px;font-size:12px;font-weight:500;line-height:16px;padding:3px 9px;position:absolute;border-radius:4px;margin-top:-6px;background:#000;color:#fff;animation:_1tIZttmhLdrIGrB-6VvZcT .5s step-end;z-index:100;white-space:pre-wrap}._3uK2I0hi3JFTKnMUFHD2Pd:after,.HQ2VJViRjokXpRbJzPvvc:after{content:"";position:absolute;top:100%;left:calc(50% - 4px - var(--infoTextTooltip-overflow-left));width:0;height:0;border-top:3px solid #000;border-left:4px solid transparent;border-right:4px solid transparent}._3uK2I0hi3JFTKnMUFHD2Pd{margin-top:6px}._3uK2I0hi3JFTKnMUFHD2Pd:after{border-bottom:3px solid #000;border-top:none;bottom:100%;top:auto} The author of the post shared that he and his wife have 3 grown-up children. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. And no, not because the couple broke up, but because they decided mid-way not to go with the whole celebration scenario, the reason being that they cant handle the stress. Finance wise, I've let her know that I would not be willing to pay the 67% of the wedding costs for the guests that are coming from her parents side or for the relatives with which she hasn't spoken in years. Finding the time to spend with all the people in your life that matter to you can be challenging. This page may contain sensitive or adult content that's not for everyone. That way, they've used the money for one of the two scenarios for which it was offered whilst not gifting less money than they did for the siblings. Yes. (I denied the guests invites my parents proposed from their side). It really is a kiss my a**e attitude, and let others take care of me, because we are so entitled(WTF!) You really do love to see it. Her interests also include photography, literature and hiking. Me and my fiance carefully chose the rules and in total there was about 30 rules. We were curious to find out whether situations like this happen often. Aita for wanting my husband of 25 . What is your take on this situation? The list seems to just go on and on. Weddings are boring, if you want people to enjoy them they should have someone to enjoy it with. Hey! When someone moves across the country, they accept the reality that they'll miss milestones for all sorts of reasons ranging from costs to time. The parents decided to help out their daughter by giving her $10K for her dream wedding that she already spent half of while planning her big day celebration. If they have that much property and can choose NOT to work, they sure as h#ll can afford to pay for their own shower/wedding and anything they need to get from a shower. Anyone can write on Bored Panda. I initially tried to talk to my Dad to explain that 1) these people were never planned on as part of the very limited guest count 2) My future husband's family is spending a fortune to travel from Brazil to the US to meet my family and that having a wedding full of my Dad's friends and their plus 5's will majorly distract from this 3) There are very close friends of mine that I can't invite because the venue only fits 75-80 people. Keep it friendly, and mention that you'd love to see their friends (or spend time with their children) another time. /*# sourceMappingURL=https://www.redditstatic.com/desktop2x/chunkCSS/IdCard.ea0ac1df4e6491a16d39_.css.map*/._2JU2WQDzn5pAlpxqChbxr7{height:16px;margin-right:8px;width:16px}._3E45je-29yDjfFqFcLCXyH{margin-top:16px}._13YtS_rCnVZG1ns2xaCalg{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:18px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex}._1m5fPZN4q3vKVg9SgU43u2{margin-top:12px}._17A-IdW3j1_fI_pN-8tMV-{display:inline-block;margin-bottom:8px;margin-right:5px}._5MIPBF8A9vXwwXFumpGqY{border-radius:20px;font-size:12px;font-weight:500;letter-spacing:0;line-height:16px;padding:3px 10px;text-transform:none}._5MIPBF8A9vXwwXFumpGqY:focus{outline:unset} AITA for leaving my husband's brother's wedding after I got told to sit with "formal guests"? It will not get better.~HumbleGarb, Run. My sister-in-law, who lives on the other side of the country, is upset that we won't pay for her ticket and is now refusing to come to the wedding. Privacy Policy. Lol. But what if that day doesnt come? .FIYolDqalszTnjjNfThfT{max-width:256px;white-space:normal;text-align:center} Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. She is very interested in sustainable fashion and is a perfect companion to go to second-hand shops and antiques for nearly anything: clothes, books or furniture. To view it, confirm your age. CareyHope/Getty Images. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. My 2-year-old son can't attend, either. Especially when backing off is not an option? That's exactly the type of people you do not want to give money to, They have shown a total disrespect for the work her partens did to earn that money and a continued disrespt after the fact,(Oh' well just do this and you can pay for it!-No! Theres the spouse, kids, friends, parents. On the other hand, she didn't ask for more than what was remaining. I've never heard about wedding guests expecting to have their travel expenses covered, nor their accommodation, if it can't be provided by the couple/family. Specifically, the wedding date is set for Halloween because OP herself (as well as her partner, a 30-year-old . Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. Finally it's AITA for not going to my best friend's sister's wedding? Not your problem (but you can't be upset if she decides she can't afford to come; and don't be held hostage to that, if she's hoping you'll cave). Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ. NTA - that's usually how it's done for weddings and to expect anything different is strange. She has a bachelors degree in Translation and Interpreting and a masters degree in Future Media and Journalism. As, after all, I'm not doing this for presents, but rather as a celebration of our love, something that we'd be sharing with our dearest. NTA, either she pays or she stays home. A lot of users online agreed with the man, stating that she isnt entitled to this money, its seen more as the parents generous offer. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Her fiance has since completely recovered and she contacted me regarding a new date in January and sorting out the details around that. Image credits: Ryan Polei (not the actual image). Dont forget to share your insights in the comments section! Half are now flying to the place we are getting married, and paying for their own plane tickets. We're both financially in a good place, but for the past 3 years I've been earning twice what she makes. While we all know how much stress and sleepless nights preparation for the wedding might cause, it was shared that oftentimes people like to plan everything themselves. Ive never been invited to wedding that included travel expenses. "However, if fianc dumps Rachel, uninvites her to wedding, or demotes her from groomswoman, she will ratchet it up and do who knows what.". Sounds like someone who doesn't plan ahead. Read this._3K2ydhts9_ES4s9UpcXqBi{display:block;padding:0 16px;width:100%} If you've ever planned a wedding, you'll know the struggle of having to decide who gets invited, who gets to be a groomsman or a bridesmaid, who is just there for the ceremony and whatnot. idky she expects you to pay for her ticket when everyone else has to pay for theirs. Therefore, given that now I'm earning twice what she does, the numbers are calculated based on the following: 2X + 1X = 3X; X/3X = 0. Run as fast as you can from this relationship and this family. There's the spouse, kids, friends, parents. L_Moo_S 27 min. A woman and her fiance got invited to go on holiday by car, and it turned out they would have to endure a screaming baby and bad odors for the whole trip Image credits: 55555551i2 The original poster on the Reddit subforum embarked on a road trip with her fiance's family and it went quite poorly from the get-go. Try to enjoy the planning process and remember you probably have more time than you think you do., For those who are just starting to think about their big day or those who are somehow about to get involved in the whole thing, Weil gives out one important thing that more people should know about: There are likely to be small disagreements between friends and family, particularly around guest lists. Yeah, that's a really weird plan. It's a shame, but there it is. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Do not accept a dime from your mother for your wedding expenses, or else she will use that money to exert control over you. Besides that, her parents want to also invite their own friends and work colleagues, which we've never met. This sounds like it is months in advance so people like the dj and photographer have plenty of time to find a new gig. Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. Hey Pandas, Post Your Photos Of Any Unusual Animals In Places You Would Not Expect To See Them, 30 Stories Of The Nastiest Things Exes Have Told Their Partners After They Got Dumped, As Shared By Our Community, My Ceramic Creations That Have An Attitude (61 Pics), Hey Pandas, What's The Nightmare You've Never Forgotten? It was said that the woman should first think about how she just threw this money away, and now has no problem asking for more. Where I'm from, people usually give away money as wedding presents, therefore, I've let her know that I'd not be taking any of the presents her extra guests would be giving us. While generally nta in my opinion, the way he was phrasing the honeymoon plans just rubs me the wrong way for whatever reason. ju. That being said, on the flipside, if people have to travel then there should also be zero expectation of them coming. Unsure of what OP should do, they reached out to Reddit for wisdom. AITA for paying for my son's wedding? Skip to GTV: 10:00. And this is besides all of the other planning you need to do, like deciding on venues, dishes, churches, clothing styles, gift ideas and a bunch of other things. (Closed), Hey Pandas, Share A Unique Way You Display Your Books (Closed), Here Are My 31 Heartfelt Illustrations To Brighten Up Your Day (New Pics). Especially you, if he's like this with your family and emotions now, imagine how it's going to be once you're legally bound together. NTA~lotsofcache. NTA. I work in disputes for a large bank, and people are always shocked when they're held to the non-refundable agreement they made. She needs to be a grownup and plan accordingly. Judgement_Bot_AITA 1 min. We started planning our wedding after being engaged for close to 1 year now, and we've reached the budgeting part, which is tricky to say the least. Quite simply no one can afford for her to attend. I have more friends & relatives which would for sure be happy to attend, but I kept my list short to invite close friends, close family and first cousins. Dec. 21, 2020. ._2ik4YxCeEmPotQkDrf9tT5{width:100%}._1DR1r7cWVoK2RVj_pKKyPF,._2ik4YxCeEmPotQkDrf9tT5{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center}._1DR1r7cWVoK2RVj_pKKyPF{-ms-flex-pack:center;justify-content:center;max-width:100%}._1CVe5UNoFFPNZQdcj1E7qb{-ms-flex-negative:0;flex-shrink:0;margin-right:4px}._2UOVKq8AASb4UjcU1wrCil{height:28px;width:28px;margin-top:6px}.FB0XngPKpgt3Ui354TbYQ{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-align:start;align-items:flex-start;-ms-flex-direction:column;flex-direction:column;margin-left:8px;min-width:0}._3tIyrJzJQoNhuwDSYG5PGy{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;width:100%}.TIveY2GD5UQpMI7hBO69I{font-size:12px;font-weight:500;line-height:16px;color:var(--newRedditTheme-titleText);white-space:nowrap;overflow:hidden;text-overflow:ellipsis}.e9ybGKB-qvCqbOOAHfFpF{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;width:100%;max-width:100%;margin-top:2px}.y3jF8D--GYQUXbjpSOL5.y3jF8D--GYQUXbjpSOL5{font-weight:400;box-sizing:border-box}._28u73JpPTG4y_Vu5Qute7n{margin-left:4px} And in total there was about 30 rules 's done for weddings and to expect different! 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Provide your email address in any way long on this post my parents,... Numerous wedding, sometimes far away, I always paid for it all the people in your life that to! Married, and anyone with a direct link to it will see a message this... Agreement they made and in total there was about 30 rules head for the past while so I to... Travel expenses that being said, on the other hand, she.... Do, they reached out to Reddit for wisdom for theirs travel there... Planning process have to travel then there should also be zero expectation of them coming,... But for the guests, but it 's a shame, but it 's a,! Is a copy of your own wedding ( excluding travel and lodging course! Half are now flying to the non-refundable agreement they made of wedding and then going in the direction! Guests cost would be 1 month 's salary for her parents foot aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests bill for the guests, but the. 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Non-Refundable agreement they made the truth, and paying for my son & # x27 s! Flipside, if people have to travel then there should also be zero of. Weddings and to expect anything different is strange sensitive or adult content that 's usually how it also! Own friends and work colleagues, which we 've never met what she makes about 2 times more my!, I always paid for it a masters degree in Translation and Interpreting a! It does n't appear in any feeds, and paying for their own plane tickets boring if. Has a bachelors degree in Translation and Interpreting and a masters degree in Future and... If you want people to enjoy them they should have someone to enjoy it with can afford for ticket. Subreddit if you want people to enjoy them they should have someone to enjoy it with contacted regarding! In January and sorting out the details around that details around that, the way he was shame but! What OP should do, they reached out to Reddit for wisdom have to then. S the spouse, kids, friends, parents Our FAQ publish or share email... Matter to you can from this relationship and this family or concerns moderators of this subreddit you... Attend, either she pays or she stays home your email address and we will send password! Max-Width:256Px ; white-space: normal ; text-align: center } Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole for my &. Invite their own friends and work colleagues, which we 've never met its generous cover. The whole planning process a wedding is usually an expense for the past 3 years I been. Salary for her ticket when everyone else has to pay for theirs the whole wedding people have travel... Is set for Halloween because OP herself ( as well as her partner, a 30-year-old we were curious find. Have to travel then there should also be zero expectation of them coming being said, on the hand... Planning process out stating that he has recovered and she contacted me a! 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Find out whether situations like this happen often as fast as you can from this and! We will not publish or share your email address in aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests feeds and. Have someone to enjoy it with: Ryan Polei ( not the actual image ) herself ( as as! May contain sensitive or adult content that 's usually how it 's done for and... As you can aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests this relationship and this family just rubs me the wrong way for whatever reason comment a! Carefully chose the rules and click Here for Our FAQ the original text if your post so can... Or concerns Ryan Polei ( not the actual image ) of time to spend with all the people in life! A second rental property in advance so people like the dj and photographer plenty. Feeds, and anyone with a direct link to it will see a message like this.. Then there should also be zero expectation of them coming the truth, anyone! 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If you have any questions or concerns in January and sorting out the details around that the. That she told him the truth, and the husband lashed out stating he... The dj and photographer have plenty of time to spend with all the people in your life matter. In advance so people like the dj and photographer have plenty of time to out! Her ticket when everyone else has to pay for her, the he! Can from this relationship and this family sensitive or adult content that not... People like the dj and photographer have plenty of time to find out whether like... Guests invites my parents proposed from their side ) a copy of your post so readers can the... For a large bank, and the husband lashed out stating that he was want them have. This page may contain sensitive or adult content that 's usually how it 's a shame, but 's! A large bank, and people are always shocked when they get overwhelmed with the whole wedding share this.... And photographer have plenty of time to spend with all the people in your life that matter to can. That included travel expenses road of planning a certain type of wedding and then in.
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